Stories and Wisdom from a Life Fully Lived

Category: Being Yourself

  • How To Get Shit Done When You Don’t Feel Creative

    Jonah MalinDec 29, 2021·3 min read

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    We’ve dubbed it as “writer’s block.” Suddenly and randomly, creativity flatlines.

    Exercise won’t fix it.
    Music won’t fix it.
    Caffeine won’t fix it.

    As a freelancer and creative writer, hours stuck in this haze can be dangerous. Not feeling “it” means I’m losing money and momentum and my f*cking mind.

    And there are as many cliche solutions as there are BS fat burners floating around the internet.

    Years ago, writer’s block could hold me back for weeks. I’d spin my wheels or wait until creativity struck again like lightning. Sometimes it would. Often it wouldn’t.

    This afternoon was one of those days where the ink has run dry. But, I’ve got some web copy for a new freelance that needs to be delivered by darkness.

    I don’t wave the white flag anymore.

    I’ve found an antidote, stolen and modified from others writers much better than myself.

    It may be the antithesis of advice you’ve read — but it works.

    Stick it in the freezer.

    When author Joan Didion found herself staring writer’s block in the eye, she would pull an unconventional U-turn.

    Didion would put the draft in a plastic bag and stick it in the freezer. Literally.

    She would return when she had the mental capacity and perspective to finish it off.

    “I write entirely to find out what I’m thinking, what I’m looking at, what I see and what it means. What I want and what I fear.”― Joan Didion

    Sure, it sounds a bit dramatic. But it’s a wonderful way to reposition creativity.

    So, back to my writer’s block.

    Instead of going for a jog or guzzling overpriced cans of caffeine, I’ll put my work in the “freezer,” open a fresh word doc, and write down exactly what is happening in front of me.

    It’s loose, unfiltered, and ugly.

    Like today’s excerpt…

    “The sun is casting a golden glow over my cluttered table. Our puppy restlessly wrestles with stray leaves he pulled into the house. Then he flops down in quiet solitude.“

    My girlfriend and I laugh that we have a very stoic puppy. He’s curious. Stone-faced. Reflective. Smarter than he lets on. Above him, the sky has begun dissolving into dark grey matter.

    I wonder how many others are anxiously staring up at the impending darkness right now.

    “I imagine two strangers are sitting under the stars on a pier somewhere. The rhythmic lapping of gentle waves below weightless soles hanging over the pier’s edge.

    They stare at the stars. The stars stare back, unblinking.”

    Damn. Now I’m writing.

    When I’m exhausted or overwhelmed, this simple practice is a low-stress way of getting the words back into my fingers. There are no expectations. No one ever has to read it. But you’ll eventually have pages of fodder for future articles.

    “Do not worry. You have always written before and you will write now.” 
    — Hemingway

    To recap:

    1. Start by closing whatever it is that’s giving you blockage. Freeze it.
    2. Get up, move to another room, and describe exactly what’s happening around you. Keep it simple. But plant your words in reality.
    3. Then, let the words weightlessly evolve into whatever comes to mind.

    Voila, writer’s block cured.

    Now excuse me as I get back to work.

  • Batch Writing


    Batch Writing, and Batch Editing

    Beth van der Pol BA(Hons)

    Beth van der Pol BA(Hons)2 days ago·4 min read

    The ups, the downs and why I do it, anyway.

    Photo by Meg Boulden on Unsplash

    I’ve spent the last one or two months talking about my writing schedule. While I recommend batch writing and editing, it is challenging. It can feel like a rollercoaster. Trying to find your steam, approach work on bad days and build a sustainable work approach. All the while still facing deadlines.

    Everything good

    Scheduling takes the chaos away from writing

    I don’t worry about whether I’ll meet my deadlines. I’ve made a clever schedule that works for me. I’ve built it with real life in mind, so even if something goes wrong my content is still published.

    I don’t have to worry about what I’m writing

    Well. I suppose I do have to worry, but only for half an hour on a Monday. I still don’t have to worry too much because I have a long list of ideas already prepared.

    I can focus on the task at hand

    I only ever need to think about what I’m currently doing. So as I’m writing this, I’m only spending mental energy on writing, not on coming up with ideas or how to edit the piece. This means that I can get into a flow state, making my work more enjoyable and engaging.

    I can plan my topics or themes

    I’m not flying by the seat of my pants anymore. I can take the time to look at a whole month and make targeted content for whatever might be happening. That might be NaNoWriMo prep content for October or New Year’s content.

    I can be a good boss to myself

    If I were writing for another company, I would get sent a topic to write and research. I would be told what to do. By batching my idea generation, writing and editing days, I’m never left wondering what I had to do. I can get my work done, accomplish my goals and clock off. I’m never stressed about what I have to do the next day because I’ve given myself a schedule that works and works well.

    Everything bad

    Motivation can be tricky

    I find that coming up to the holidays when I’m getting my content lined up it can be hard to push forward. It’s like when you’re excited to go somewhere in a car, so it feels like it takes so much longer. I’m flying home for Christmas on Friday, so this is the last article I have to write. I swear it feels like it’s taking forever.

    I am my own boss

    I am in charge of accomplishing my own goals. I am the only one I can blame when I fail. I don’t often neglect my goals. I usually set goals that are achievable, because I am motivated by the low barriers to entry types of jobs. That being said, sometimes I forget that and load up my task list with far too much work. Then I end up paralysed and struggle to get basic things done. Working for yourself takes a certain amount of discovery to get right.

    I’m a one-woman office

    This means I can rightfully complain that I’m the only one who gets anything done around here. If I don’t reach my goals, I can’t delegate tasks. I have to go back to where I dropped the ball and walk it back to the net. If I miss, I miss and I don’t have anyone else who can help with that. Writing can be both lonely and overwhelming.

    Too many hats

    This one is attached to being the only one in the office. I get to wear all the hats. That means I get to generate ideas, edit, write, format, market, optimise for SEO, build a webpage, be a social media influencer, and a bunch of other things I’m forgetting. I’ve had to learn so many new skills to do what I do. While I’m thankful for the experience, sometimes it can steal too much time away from the actual writing.

    It’s lonely

    Don’t get me wrong, I love the solitude of writing. If I didn’t, I would be in the wrong career. Sometimes you want the water cooler conversation your friends are having. You also run the risk of living in an echo chamber. If you’re the only one coming up with ideas, it can be hard to write inclusive and relevant topics. That won’t stop me from doing my best.

    Why I still batch write and edit

    Despite all the bad and the good, I’m still going to continue batch editing and writing. I listed a total of five good and bad for each, but to be honest, the good far outweighs the bad. Every bad week I have is far outnumbered by the good, and I get to do what I’m passionate about on a daily basis.

    A lot of writing is to do with mindset. If you can cultivate an environment that is both healthy and conducive to writing, you’re winning.

    As always, I cannot wait to see you on the bookshelf!

    Some good thoughts from a Solopreneur Knowledge Worker.

  • Just for YOU

    This is an excerpt from Marc and Angel’s Newsletter MarcandAngel.com

    You’re likely familiar with what’s known as the Serenity Prayer. It goes like this:

    God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

    There’s an important lesson here—one that’s very often glossed over…

    When a chaotic reality is swirling around us, we often try to relieve our anxiety by exerting our will over external things we cannot control.

    It helps us stave off one of the most dreaded feelings: complete powerlessness.

    With that in mind, I have good news and bad news.

    The bad news is that generally speaking, almost everything is outside your control. What other people do, whether it will rain tomorrow, whether or not your efforts will be appreciated—all of these outcomes depend on factors that aren’t you.

    That’s also the good news.

    The friction and frustration created by trying to change things you cannot change is the crucible where a ton of unhappiness is born. Accepting that most things are outside your influence gives you explicit permission to let them unfold as they may.

    Stoic philosopher Epictetus put it this way:

    “Some things are in our control and others not. Things in our control are opinion, pursuit, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever are our own actions. Things not in our control are body, property, reputation, command, and, in one word, whatever are not our actions.”

    Overcoming the “three big un’s” that so many of us struggle with daily—unhappiness, unconvinced things will ever change, unsure what to do next—begins with understanding what you can control and what you cannot.

    The mental shift here is not easy. Most of us have spent a lifetime worrying about things that we can’t control. Society practically encourages this. For most, it’s a bona fide habit…

    A habit that should be replaced with a healthy understanding of how much we can actually change. Again though, it’s hard to get your mind wrapped around all this when you’re constantly hearing…

    “Why don’t you just get over it?” “Just let it go.”

    We’ve all heard some flavor of this advice before. And it passes the sniff test, to a certain extent.

    I mean, “time heals all wounds,” right? Well, yes… sort of. But wounds heal differently depending on how they’re treated.

    Left alone, a gash in your skin will leave a large scar and be vulnerable to injury again in the future. This is why we get stitches—it helps the wound heal in a way that limits the chance of re-injury down the road.

    Emotional wounds work the same way. Given enough time, most emotional pain will diminish—that’s true.

    But just “getting over it” leaves scars.

    In the emotional sense, scars equal baggage—baggage we carry with us into every aspect of our lives. These scars grow and accumulate until one day you wake up suffering from one or more of the “three un’s” (unhappiness, unconvinced things will ever change, unsure what to do next).

    Don’t get over it. Go through it.

    Honestly, I understand the desire to “get over” difficult experiences rather than facing them. Revisiting painful memories and facing our demons is really, really hard. And we’re hard-wired to not cause ourselves pain.

    However, as our parents taught us, ignoring a problem doesn’t make it go away.

    And in addition to the scars, to ignore or downplay a wound puts you at risk for infection, emotionally as well as physically.

    Unresolved issues from the past take up residence in your mind and influence your decisions, your relationships, and your attitudes.

    They rob you of your happiness. Doing the hard thing now will be hard, yes. But it’s far better than the alternative.

    Of course, doing the hard yet necessary thing can feel impossible.

    One way I address this is the practice of being “hootless” meaning that I try to recognize the things I cannot or should not change, relax and just ‘let go’ of those things and let the river flow where it will. While I may influence the behaviour of others, that is best accomplished through example. Thus allowing them to choose their own behaviour rather than ‘shoulding’, bullying or coercing them to accept MY values. After all, aren’t we all responsible for our own choices and the consequences therefrom?

  • Strength

    You can handle a little risk. You can handle a little discomfort.

    You can handle a little pain. You can handle a little inconvenience.

    You can handle a little embarrassment. You can handle a little effort.

    You can summon a little patience. You can summon a little discipline.

    You can do whatever must be done when the reason is meaningful enough. You can get yourself to take the necessary action when it serves a worthy purpose.

    What have you avoided, made excuses about, or put off until later just because you thought you couldn’t handle it? Imagine all the good that will come when you go ahead and utilize the strength that’s already there inside you.

    — Ralph Marston

  • Peace

    “There is peace even in the storm.” — Vincent van Gogh

    “The Master sees things as they are, without trying to control them. She lets them go their own way, and resides at the center of the circle.” — Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

    “When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in.” — Haruki Murakami

  • If You could Live Life over Again

    Nadine Stair, an 85-year-old woman from Louisville, Kentucky, shares her answer when asked, “How would you have lived your life differently if you had a chance?”
    ​
    “If I had my life to live over again, I’d dare to make more mistakes next time. I’d relax. I’d limber up. I’d be sillier than I’ve been this trip. I would take fewer things seriously. I would take more chances, I would eat more ice cream and less beans.

    I would, perhaps, have more actual troubles but fewer imaginary ones. You see, I’m one of those people who was sensible and sane, hour after hour, day after day.

    Oh, I’ve had my moments. If I had to do it over again, I’d have more of them. In fact, I’d try to have nothing else—just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years ahead of each day.

    I’ve been one of those persons who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot-water bottle, a raincoat, and a parachute. If I could do it again, I would travel lighter than I have.

    If I had to live my life over, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. I would go to more dances, I would ride more merry-go-rounds, I would pick more daisies.”

    Source: Chicken Soup for the Soul 20th Anniversary Edition​

    I think most of us can relate to this. I know I can.

  • Being Yourself

    “Being yourself is a continuous effort.

    There is always another expectation placed upon you, another person pulling you toward their preferences, another nudge from society to act a certain way.

    It’s a daily battle to be yourself, not merely what the world wants you to be.”

    –James Clear